161 Alcoholics Anonymous p-125
        We do not relate intimate experiences of another member unless we are sure he
would approve. We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories. A man may
criticize or laugh at himself & it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule
aimed at someone else often produces the contrary effect.
       
161 Twelve & Twelve p-88
        A continuous look at our assets & liabilities, & a real desire to learn & grow
by this means are necessities for us. We alcoholics have learned this the hard way.
More experienced people, of course, in all times & places have practiced unsparing
self-survey & criticism.
       
162 letter 1966
        We need to distinguish sharply between spiritual simplicity & functional
simplicity.
        When we say that A.A. advocates no theological proposition except God as we
understand Him, we greatly simplify A.A. life by avoiding conflict & exclusiveness.
        But when we get into questions of action by groups, by areas, & by A.A. as a
whole, we find that we must to some extent organize to carry the message - or else face
chaos. & chaos is not simplicity.
       
162 A.A. Comes Of Age p-294
        I learned that the temporary or seeming good can often be the deadly enemy of the
permanent best. When it comes to survival for A.A., nothing short of our very best will
be good enough.
       
163 A.A. Comes Of Age p-44/45
        Who can render an account of all his miseries that once were ours, & who can
estimate the release & joy that the later years have brought to us? Who can possibly
tell the vast consequences of what God's work through A.A. has already set in motion?
        & who can penetrate the deeper mystery of our wholesale deliverance from
slavery, a bondage to a most hopeless & fatal obsession which for centuries possessed
the minds & bodies of men & women like ourselves?
      
163 Alcoholics Anonymous p-132
        We think cheerfulness & laughter make for usefulness. Outsiders are sometimes
shocked when we burst into merriment over a seeming tragic experience out of the past.
But why shouldn't we laugh? We have recovered, & have helped others to recover.
What greater cause could there be for rejoicing than this?
       
164 Twelve & Twelve p-56/57
        The practice of admitting one's defects to another person is, of course, very
ancient. It has been validated in every century, & it characterizes the lives of all
spiritually centered & truly religious people.
        But today religion is by no means the sole advocate of this saving principle.
Psychiatrists & psychologists point out the deep need every human being has for
practical insight & knowledge of his own personality flaws & for a discussion of
them with an understanding & trustworthy person.
        So far as alcoholics are concerned, A.A. would go even further. Most of us would
declare that without a fearless admission of our defects to another human being, we
could not stay sober. It seems plain that the grace of God will not enter to expel our
destructive obsessions until we are willing to try this.
       
165 letter 1942
        We now see that in twelfth stepping the immediate results are not so important.
Some people start out working with others & have immediate success. They are likely
to get cocky. Those of us who are not so successful at first get depressed.
        As a matter of fact, the successful worker differs from the unsuccessful only in
being lucky about his prospects. He simply hits newcomers who are ready & able to
stop at once. Given the same prospects, the seemingly unsuccessful person would have
produced almost the same results. You have to work on a lot of newcomers before the
law of averages commences to assert itself.
      
165 A.A. Today p-10
        All true communication must be founded on mutual need. We saw that each
sponsor would have to admit humbly his own needs as clearly as those of his prospect.
      
166 Grapevine January 1962
        Though we of A.A. find ourselves living in a world characterized by destructive
fears as never before in history, we see great areas of faith, & tremendous aspirations
toward justice & brotherhood. Yet no prophet can presume to say whether the world
outcome will be blazing destruction or the beginning, under God's intention, of the
brightest era yet known to mankind.
        I am sure we A.A.s will comprehend this scene. In microcosm, we have
experienced this identical state of terrifying uncertainty, each in his own life. In no
sense pridefully, we can say that we do not fear the world outcome, whichever course it
may take. This is because we have been enabled to deeply feel & say, "We shall fear
no evil.... Thy will, not ours, be done"
       
167 Alcoholics Anonymous p-60
        On studying the Twelve Steps, many of us exclaimed "what an order! I can't go
through with it". Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain
anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not Saints.
        The point is we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have
set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual
perfection.
       
167 letter 1946
        We recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers in virtue as we are brothers in
our defects, & in our common strivings to overcome them.
       
168 letter 1964
        Though many theologians hold that sudden spiritual experiences amount to a
special distinction, if not a divine appointment of some sort, I question this view. Every
human being, no matter what his attributes for good or evil, is a part of the divine
spiritual economy. Therefore, each of us has his place, & I cannot see that God
intends to exalt one over another.
        So it is necessary for all of us to accept whatever positive gifts we receive with a
deep humility, always bearing in mind that our negative attitudes were first necessary as
a means of reducing us to such a state that we would be ready for a gift of the positive
ones via the conversion experience. Your own alcoholism & the immense deflation
that finally resulted are indeed the foundation upon which your spiritual experience
rests.
    
169 letter 1964
        My experience as an old-timer has to some degree paralleled your own & that of
many others. We all find that the time comes when we are not allowed to manage &
conduct the functional affairs of groups, areas, or, in my case, A.A. as a whole. In the
end we can only be worth as much as our spiritual example has justified. To that extent,
we become useful symbols - & that is just about it.
       
169 letter 1949
        I have become a pupil of the A.A. movement rather than the teacher I once thought
I was.
       
170 Twelve & Twelve
        We have seen A.A.s ask with much earnestness & faith for God's explicit
guidance on matters ranging all the way from a shattering domestic or financial crisis to
a minor personal fault, like tardiness. A man who tries to run his life rigidly by this kind
of prayer, by this self-serving demand of God for replies, is a particularly disconcerting
individual. To any questioning or criticism of his actions, he instantly proffers his
reliance upon prayer for guidance in all matters great or small.
        He may have forgotten the possibility that his own wishful thinking & the human
tendency to rationalize have distorted his so called guidance. With the best of
intentions, he tends to force his will into all sorts of situations & problems with the
comfortable assurance that he is acting under God's specific direction
       
171 letter 1966
        The A.A. preoccupation with sobriety is sometimes misunderstood. To some, this
single virtue appears to be the sole dividend of our Fellowship. We are thought to be
dried up drunks who otherwise have changed little, or not at all, for the better. Such a
surmise widely misses the truth. We know that permanent sobriety can be attained only
by a most revolutionary change in the life & outlook of the individual - by a spiritual
awakening that can banish the desire to drink.
      
171 letter 9155
        You are asking yourself, as all of us must: "Who am I? ...Where am I? .... Whence
do I go?". The process of enlightenment is usually slow. But, in the end, our seeking
always brings a finding. These great mysteries are, after all, enshrined in complete
simplicity. The willingness to grow is the essence of all spiritual development.
      
172 letter 1966
        Only God can fully know what absolute honesty is. Therefore, each of us has to
conceive what this great ideal may be - to the best of our ability.
        Fallible as we all are, & will be in this life, it would be presumption to suppose
that we could ever really achieve absolute honesty. The best we can do is to strive for a
better quality of honesty.
        Sometimes we need to place love ahead of indiscriminate "factual honesty". We
cannot, under the guise of "perfect honesty", cruelly & unnecessarily hurt others.
Always one must ask, "What is the best & most loving thing I can do?"
       
173 Alcoholics Anonymous p-64
        We started upon a personal inventory, step four. A business which takes no regular
inventory usually goes broke. Taking a commercial inventory is a fact finding & a
fact facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock in trade. One
object is to disclose damaged or unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly &
without regret. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool
himself about values.
        We had to exactly the same thing with our lives. We had to take stock honestly.
      
173 letter 1949
        Moments of perception can build into a lifetime of spiritual serenity, as I have
excellent reason to know. Roots of reality, supplanting the neurotic underbrush, will
hold fast despite the high winds of the forces which would destroy us, or which we
would use to destroy ourselves.
     
174 A.A. Today p-9
        Mine was exactly the kind of deep-seated block we so often see today in new
people who say they are atheistic or agnostic. Their will to disbelieve is so powerful
that apparently they prefer a date with the undertaker to an open minded &
experimental quest for God.
        Happily for me, & for most of my kind who have since come along in A.A., the
constructive forces brought to bear in our Fellowship have nearly always overcome this
colossal obstinacy. Beaten into complete defeat by alcohol, confronted by the living
proof of release, & surrounded by those who can speak to us from the heart, we have
finally surrendered.
        & then, paradoxically, we have found ourselves in a new dimension, the real
world of spirit & faith. Enough willingness, enough open mindedness - & there it is!
     
175 A.A. Comes Of Age p-102
        All kinds of people have found their way into A.A. Not too long ago, I sat talking
in my office with a member who bears the title of Countess. That same night, I went to
an A.A. meeting. It was winter, & there was a mild looking little gent taking the coats.
I said, "who's that?"
        & somebody answered, "Oh, he's been around for a long time. Everybody likes
him. He used to be one of Al Capone's mob". That is how universal A.A. is today.
    
175 Alcoholics Anonymous p-28
        We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith
can be acquired. All of us, whatever our race, creed, or color, are the children of a
living Creator, with whom we may form a relationship upon simple & understandable
terms as soon as we are willing & honest enough to try.
       
176 Twelve & Twelve p-53
        The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true
partnership with another human being. Our egomania digs two disastrous pitfalls.
Either we insist upon dominating the people we know, or we depend upon them far too
much.
        If we lean too heavily on people, they will sooner or later fail us, for they are
human, too, & cannot possibly meet our incessant demands. In this way our insecurity
grows & festers.
        When we habitually try to manipulate others to our own willful desires, they
revolt, & resist us heavily. Then we develop hurt feelings, a sense of persecution, &
a desire to retaliate.
    
176 Grapevine January 1958
        My dependency meant demand - a demand for the possession & control of the
people & the conditions surrounding me.
  
177 Twelve & Twelve p-120
        In our drinking time, we acted as if the money supply were inexhaustible, though
between binges we would sometimes go to the other extreme & become miserly.
Without realizing it, we were just accumulating funds for the next spree. Money was
the symbol of pleasure & self-importance. As our drinking became worse, money was
only an urgent requirement which could supply us with the next drink & the
temporary comfort of the oblivion it brought.
      
177 Alcoholics Anonymous p-127
        Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we find we cannot place
money first. For us, material well being always follows spiritual progress; it never
precedes.
      
178 Alcoholics Anonymous p-130
        Those of who have spent much time in the world of spiritual make believe have
eventually seen the childishness of it. This dream world has been replaced by a great
sense of purpose, accompanied by a growing consciousness of the power of God in our
lives.
        We have come to believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with
Him, but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth. That is where our fellow
travelers are, & that is where our work must be done. These are the realities for us.
We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience & a life
of sane & happy usefulness.
      
179 Twelve & Twelve p-90
        Few people have been more victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. A
burst of temper could spoil a day, & a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably
ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As
we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more
balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These "dry benders"
often led straight to the bottle.
   
179 Twelve & Twelve p-91
        Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue & pen. We must avoid quick-tempered
criticism, furious power driven argument, sulking, & silent scorn. These are emotional
booby traps baited with pride & vengefulness. When we are tempted by the bait we
should train ourselves to step back & think. We can neither think nor act to good
purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic.
   
180 Grapevine March 1958
        The answer to the problem of alcoholism seems to be in education - education in
schoolrooms, in medical colleges, among clergymen & employers, in families, & in
the public at large. From cradle to grave, the drunk & the potential alcoholic will have
to be completely surrounded by a true & deep understanding & by a continuous
barrage of information.
        This means factual education, properly presented. Heretofore, much of this
education has attacked the immorality of drinking rather than the illness of alcoholism.
        Now who is going to do all this education? Obviously, it is both a community job
& a job for specialists. Individually, we A.A.s can help, but A.A. as such cannot, &
should not, get directly into this field. Therefore, we must rely on other agencies, on
outside friends & their willingness to supply great amounts of money & effort.
       
181 Grapevine June 1961
        When we early A.A.s got our first glimmer of how spiritually prideful we could
be, we coined this expression: "Don't try to be a saint by Thursday!"
        That old time admonition may look like another of those handy alibis that can
excuse us from trying for our best. Yet a closer view reveals just the contrary. This is
our A.A. way of warning against pride blindness, & the imaginary perfections that we
do not possess.
       
181 Twelve & Twelve p-68
        Only step one, where we made the one hundred per cent admission that we were
powerless over alcohol, can be practiced with absolute perfection. The remaining
eleven steps state perfect ideals. They are goals toward which we look & the
measuring sticks by which we estimate our progress.
      
182 talk 1960
        Perhaps you raise the question of hallucination versus the divine imagery of a
genuine spiritual experience. I doubt if anyone has authoritatively defined what a
hallucination really is. However, it is certain that all recipients of spiritual experiences
declare for their reality. The best evidence of that reality is in the subsequent fruits.
Those who receive these gifts of grace are very much changed people, almost
invariably for the better. This can scarcely be said of those who hallucinate.
        Some might think me presumptuous when I say that my own experience is real.
Nevertheless, I can surely report that in my own life & in the lives of countless others,
the fruits of that experience have been real & the benefactions beyond reckoning.
      
183 letter 1945
        I went through several fruitless years in a state called "viewing with alarm for the
good of the movement". I thought it was up to me to be always "correcting conditions".
Seldom had anybody been able to tell me what I ought to do & nobody had ever
succeeded in effectively telling me what I must do. I had to learn the hard way out of
my own experience.
        When setting out to "check others", I found myself often motivated by fear of what
they were doing, self-righteousness & even downright intolerance. Consequently, I
seldom succeeded in correcting anything. I just raised barriers of resentment that cut off
any suggestion, example, understanding, or love.
       
183 letter 1966
        A.A.s often say, "Our leaders do not drive by mandate; they lead by example". If
we would favorably affect others, we ourselves need to practice what we preach - &
forget the "preaching" too. The quiet good example speaks for itself.
       
184 letter 1958
        Our spiritual & emotional growth in A.A. does not depend so deeply upon
success as it does upon our failures & setbacks. If you will bear this in mind, I think
that your slip will have the effect of kicking you upstairs, instead of down.
        We A.A.s have had no better teacher than Old Man Adversity, except in those
cases where we refuse to let him teach us.
      
184 letter 1966
        Now & then all of us fall under heavy criticism. When we are angered & hurt,
it is difficult not to retaliate in kind. Yet we can restrain ourselves & then probe
ourselves, asking whether our critics were really right. If so, we can admit our defects
to them. This usually clears the air for mutual understanding.
        Suppose our critics are being unfair. Then we can try calm persuasion. If they
continue to rant, it is still possible for us - in our hearts - to forgive them. Maybe a
sense of humor can be our saving grace - thus we can both forgive & forget.
       
185 A.A. Comes Of Age p-53
        When I was ten, I was tall & gawky & smaller kids could push me around in
quarrels. I remember being very depressed for a year or more, & then I began to
develop a fierce resolve to win.
        One day, my grandfather came along with a book about Australia & told me,
"this book says that nobody but an Australian bushman knows how to make & throw
the boomerang.
        Here is my chance, I thought. I will be the first man in America to make & throw
a boomerang. Well, any kid could have had a notion like that. It might have lasted two
days or two weeks. But mine was a power drive that kept on for six months, till I made
a boomerang that swung around the churchyard in front of the house & almost hit my
grandfather in the head when it came back.
        Emotionally, I had begun the fashioning of another sort of boomerang, one that
almost killed me later on.
      
186 Twelve & Twelve p-139
        In Tradition Three, A.A. is really saying to every serious drinker, "You are an
A.A. member if you say so". You are can declare yourself in; nobody can keep you out.
No matter how low you have gone, no matter how grave your emotional complications
- even your crimes - we do not want to keep you out. We just want to be sure that you
get the same chance for sobriety that we have had.
       
186 Grapevine August 1946
        We do not wish to deny anyone his chance to recover from alcoholism. We wish to
be just as inclusive as we can, never exclusive.
       
187 Alcoholics Anonymous p-77
        In making amends, it is seldom wise to approach an individual who still smarts
from our injustice to him & announce that we have gone religious. This might be
called leading with the chin. Why lay ourselves open to being branded fanatics or
religious bores?
 

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