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"Were
entirely ready to have God
remove all these defects of character."
"This is
the Step that separates the men from the boys." So declares a
well-loved clergyman who happens to be one of A.A.'s greatest
friends. He goes on to explain that any person capable of enough
willingness and honesty to try repeatedly Step Six on all his
faults--without any reservations whatever--has indeed come a long
way spiritually, and is therefore entitled to be called a man who is
sincerely trying to grow in the image and likeness of his own
Creator.
Of course,
the often disputed question of whether God can--and will, under
certain conditions--remove defects of character will be answered
with a prompt affirmative by almost any A.A. member. To him, this
proposition will be no theory at all; it will be just about the
largest fact in his life. He will usually offer his proof in a
statement like this:
"Sure, I
was beaten, absolutely licked. My own willpower just wouldn't work
on alcohol. Change of scene, the best efforts of family, friends,
doctors, and clergymen got no place with my alcoholism. I simply
couldn't stop drinking, and no human being could seem to do the job
for me. But when I became willing to clean house and then asked a
Higher Power, God as I understood Him, to give me release, my
obsession to drink vanished. It was lifted right out of me." In A.A.
meetings all over the world, statements just like this are heard
daily. It is plain for everybody to see that each sober A.A. member
has been granted a release from this very obstinate and potentially
fatal obsession. So in a very complete and literal way, all A.A.'s
have "become entirely ready" to have God remove the mania for
alcohol from their lives. And God has proceeded to do exactly that.
Having
been granted a perfect release from alcoholism, why then shouldn't
we be able to achieve by the same means a perfect release from every
other difficulty or defect? This is a riddle of our existence, the
full answer to which may be only in the mind of God. Nevertheless,
at least a part of the answer to it is apparent to us.
When men
and women pour so much alcohol into themselves that they destroy
their lives, they commit a most unnatural act. Defying their
instinctive desire for self-preservation, they seem bent upon
self-destruction. They work against their own deepest instinct. As
they are humbled by the
terrific beating administered by alcohol, the grace of God can enter
them and expel their obsession. Here their powerful instinct to live
can cooperate fully with their Creator's desire to give them new
life. For nature and God alike abhor suicide.
But most
of our other difficulties don't fall under such a category at all.
Every normal person wants, for example, to eat, to reproduce, to be
somebody in the society of his fellows. And he wishes to be
reasonably safe and secure as he tries to attain these things.
Indeed, God made him that way. He did not design man to destroy
himself by alcohol, but He did give man instincts to help him to
stay alive. It is nowhere evident, at least in this life, that our
Creator expects us fully to eliminate our instinctual drives. So far
as we know, it is nowhere on the record that God has completely
removed from any human being all his natural drives.
Since most
of us are born with an abundance of natural desires, it isn't
strange that we often let these far exceed their intended purpose.
When they drive us blindly, or we willfully demand that they supply
us with more satisfactions or pleasures than are possible or due us,
that is the point at which we depart from the degree of perfection
that God wishes for us here on earth. That is the measure of our
character defects, or, if you wish, of our sins.
If we ask,
God will certainly forgive our derelictions. But in no case does He
render us white as snow and keep us that way without our
cooperation. That is something we are supposed to be willing to work
toward ourselves. He asks only that we try as best we know how to
make progress in the building of character.
So Step
Six--"Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of
character"--is A.A.'s way of stating the best possible attitude one
can take in order to make a beginning on this lifetime job. This
does not mean that we expect all our character defects to be lifted
out of us as the drive to drink was. A few of them may be, but with
most of them we shall have to be content with patient improvement.
The key words "entirely ready" underline the fact that we want to
aim at the very best we know or can learn.
How many
of us have this degree of readiness? In an absolute sense
practically nobody has it. The best we can do, with all the honesty
that we can summon, is to try to have it. Even then the best of us
will discover to our dismay that there is always a sticking point, a
point at which we say, "No, I can't give this up yet." And we shall
often tread on even more dangerous ground when we cry, "This I will
never give up!" Such is the power of our instincts to overreach
themselves. No matter how far we have progressed, desires will
always be found which oppose the grace of God.
Some who
feel they have done well may dispute this, so let's try to think it
through a little further. Practically everybody wishes to be rid of
his most glaring and destructive handicaps. No one wants to be so
proud that he is scorned as a braggart, nor so greedy that he is
labeled a thief. No one wants to be angry enough to murder, lustful
enough to rape, gluttonous enough to ruin his health. No one wants
to be agonized by the chronic pain of envy or to be paralyzed by
sloth. Of course, most human beings don't suffer these defects at
these rock-bottom levels.
We who
have escaped these extremes are apt to congratulate ourselves. Yet
can we? After all, hasn't it been self-interest, pure and simple,
that has enabled most of us to escape? Not much spiritual effort is
involved in avoiding excesses which will bring us punishment anyway.
But when we face up to the less violent aspects of these very same
defects, then where do we stand?
What we
must recognize now is that we exult in some of our defects. We
really love them. Who, for example, doesn't like to feel just a
little superior to the next fellow, or even quite a lot superior?
Isn't it true that we like to let greed masquerade as ambition? To
think of liking lust seems impossible. But how many men and women
speak love with their lips, and believe what they say, so that they
can hide lust in a dark corner of their minds? And even while
staying within conventional bounds, many people have to admit that
their imaginary sex excursions are apt to be all dressed up as
dreams of romance.
Self-righteous anger also can be very enjoyable. In a perverse way
we can actually take satisfaction from the fact that many people
annoy us, for it brings a comfortable feeling of superiority. Gossip
barbed with our anger, a polite form of murder by character
assassination, has its satisfactions for us, too. Here we are not
trying to help those we criticize; we are trying to proclaim our own
righteousness.
When
gluttony is less than ruinous, we have a milder word for that, too;
we call it "taking our comfort." We live in a world riddled with
envy. To a greater or less degree, everybody is infected with it.
From this defect we must surely get a warped yet definite
satisfaction. Else why would we consume such great amounts of time
wishing for what we have not, rather than working for it, or angrily
looking for attributes we shall never have, instead of adjusting to
the fact, and accepting it? And how often we work hard with no
better motive than to be secure and slothful later on-- only we call
that "retiring." Consider, too, our talents for procrastination,
which is really sloth in five syllables. Nearly anyone could submit
a good list of such defects as these, and few of us would seriously
think of giving them up, at least until they cause us excessive
misery.
Some
people, of course, may conclude that they are indeed ready to have
all such defects taken from them. But even these people, if they
construct a list of still milder defects, will be obliged to admit
that they prefer to hang on to some of them. Therefore, it seems
plain that few of us can quickly or easily become ready to aim at
spiritual and moral perfection; we want to settle for only as much
perfection as will get us by in life, according, of course, to our
various and sundry ideas of what will get us by. So the difference
between "the boys and the men" is the difference between striving
for a self-determined objective and for the perfect objective
which is of God.
Many will
at once ask, "How can we accept the entire implication of Step Six?
Why--that is perfection!" This sounds like a hard question, but
practically speaking, it isn't. Only Step One, where we made the 100
percent admission we were powerless over alcohol, can be practiced
with absolute perfection. The remaining eleven Steps state perfect
ideals. They are goals toward which we look, and the measuring
sticks by which we estimate our progress. Seen in this light, Step
Six is still difficult, but not at all impossible. The only urgent
thing is that we make a beginning, and keep trying.
If we
would gain any real advantage in the use of this Step on problems
other than alcohol, we shall need to make a brand new venture into
open-mindedness. We shall need to raise our eyes toward perfection,
and be ready to walk in that direction. It will seldom matter how
haltingly we walk. The only question will be "Are we ready?"
Looking
again at those defects we are still unwilling to give up, we ought
to erase the hard-and-fast lines that we have drawn. Perhaps we
shall be obliged in some cases still to say, "This I cannot give up
yet...," but we should not say to ourselves, "This I will never
give up!"
Let's
dispose of what appears to be a hazardous open end we have left. It
is suggested that we ought to become entirely willing to aim toward
perfection. We note that some delay, however, might be pardoned.
That word, in the mind of a rationalizing alcoholic, could certainly
be given a long term meaning. He could say, "How very
easy! Sure, I'll head toward perfection, but I'm certainly
not going to hurry any. Maybe I can postpone dealing with some of my
problems indefinitely." Of course, this won't do. Such a bluffing of
oneself will have to go the way of many another pleasant
rationalization. At the very least, we shall have to come to grips
with some of our worst character defects and take action toward
their removal as quickly as we can.
The moment
we say, "No, never!" our minds close against the
grace of God. Delay is dangerous, and rebellion may be fatal.
This is the exact point at which we abandon limited objectives, and
move toward God's will for us.
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